Now I know this blog is about the voiceless children facing divorce or separation, but I thought it would be a good idea to show everyone how parents can give their children a voice, and get them to understand a little more about the adults’ decision.
Whether children understand what their parents are going through, see the different behavioral changes, experience the arguing, parents don’t realize that there are different feelings their children face or the ways to approach the children about their situation.
This website, http://extension.missouri.edu/publications/DisplayPub.aspx?P=GH6600, gives parents a good idea of how to approach their children, and talk to them about the adult situation.
How to address the situation:
- Set them aside to meet as a family
- Plan ahead of time what to tell children
- Stay calm
- Plan to meet again.
Keep it understanding for the children. Limit what you have to say and only say the most immediate issues. Too much information for the children/child can confuse them. Acknowledge them that someone will be there for them no matter what. Tell the children that their relationships with both parents will still continue. Also, know that your love (from both parents) will still be there even if actions changes, like family routines.
Keep having family discussion. In the family talks don’t give the children false hope about reuniting. When the divorce is final, let them know. Parents should also assure the children the divorce is not their fault, and was not a result of something they did. This needs to be reassured to younger kids every so often. This is because younger kids still won’t understand the reason of the divorce, and will answer to people, “It was because one of the kids misbehaved.” Repeat to assure that they are not responsible for the divorce.
*Here are General tips that should help parents. Go to the website for additional tips:http://extension.missouri.edu/publications/DisplayPub.aspx?P=GH6600
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